Monday, January 30, 2017

SS United States Streaming Screen Review: A Series of Unfortunate Events (2017) [UPDATED]

A Series of Unfortunate Events is a dismal, sad, depressing story. Its author, Lemony Snicket, advises everyone to avoid the tale at all costs. I advise otherwise.

I read this book series when it was first coming out in bookstores. I owned the whole series. I think I was into the mystery surrounding everything and the premise that this was indeed going to be a series full of unfortunate events. It was something you didn't see in the youth genre, and on some level I appreciated that. I did enjoy it, but I only read it once. Odd, because I usually reread books I liked. I think I was left a little miffed at the questionable ending. I actually got rid of the books, another weird move on my part.

When the 2004 movie came out, I only saw it once (Am I sensing a pattern here?). I remember I did not enjoy it, probably because it deviated so much from the book series. I was a real stickler for sticking to the source material. Still am, but I'm now a little more forgiving.

So, I was not super crazy excited when the Netflix reboot was announced, only pleasantly excited. Netflix has done some great series, and reboots of recently filmed stories are still in vogue. It sounded like a good idea.

Then everything changed with one teaser trailer:


0:01 through 0:19, I was nodding my head. Ah yes. Netflix does not disappoint. At 0:20, I would have done a spit take if I had been drinking something. The SS United States?? Here??

So, A Series of Unfortunate Events instantaneously became one of my newest obsessions!



So let's get down to it. The series chronicles the tale of the three Baudelaire orphans whose parents are killed when their mansion mysteriously catches on fire. The Baudelaires are sent to live with their relative Count Olaf, who will do anything to get his hands on the orphans' family fortune. A series of unfortunate events ensues.

Season one of the Netflix series covers the first 4 books, with each book being covered by 2 episodes. There are 13 books in the series altogether, so there should be at least 2 more seasons.

This was a book lover's dream. ASOUE was everything Harry Potter fans were asking of their adaptation to film. No detail was skipped, no character was angry when they were supposed to be calm (I'm still bitter, Goblet of Fire), and there was enough time to cover everything significant and showcase the little details. There were changes and small additions, but every change/addition felt natural, like it could have always been that way. It dissolved into the world like a tasteless, odorous poison into a drink. They didn't contradict major plot points in the book, unlike the 2004 movie did. Everything felt authentic. I was pleased.


The world that was created had a huge Pushing Daisies feel to it. Quirky, morbid, artistically stunning visuals, stoic children, zany one-off characters, timeless fashion, an amazing narrator, and architecture to the T. Pushing Daisies is one of my favorite series, so the feeling was welcomed with open arms. Stills from each show could be confused with each other, except PD took the color saturation to 11, whereas ASOUE muted colors. ASOUE also made everything dingy and run-down-looking. [Feb 2019 Update: I have since learned that Barry Sonnenfeld was executive producer on both series, and is probably the reason for this artistic connection. Thanks go to Zenith Haas for alerting me to the connection :)]



Let's be honest, I was only here for the ship, you're only probably reading this because of the ship. I have dawdled long enough. Let's depart to the dreary dock.


I didn't remember a ship of her magnitude in the book series, so I was interested in how the Big U would fit in.

The SS United States first appears briefly in the opening credits of each episode of the season. It's an image of the ship on a cork board, covered with strings tied to thumb-tacks. You later infer it is a montage of Lemony Snicket working, researching and figuring out how the different pieces of the story go together. I was pleasantly surprised to see the ship appear so soon.

Then we get to episode 3 & 4, aka "The Reptile Room." The SS United States stars as the SS Prospero, a ship headed towards Peru. Not much else is stated about the ship itself. It is supposed to take the orphans and their current guardian to Peru to finally get some answers and safety. What actually happens is the exact opposite. No one rides the boat, no one gets any questions answered, no one is safe (especially the guy that dies), and the season of unfortunate events continues on for 4 more episodes.

The SS Prospero in A Series of Unfortunate Events.
In the teaser trailer, she doesn't have a name on her bow.
In the episode, you can see "SS Prospero"

The ship enters the story (a-la the magic of CGI) in her current rusty state. The rust fits the look of the series well. Everything looks like it's been through a couple hurricanes. Only problem... like the current SS United States, there are no lifeboats on the SS Prospero. They should probably add some for future voyages, just in case...

Towards the end of the episode, Count Olaf boards the SS Prospero (as seen in the teaser trailer above). The inside of the ship is a set, and is not based on any of the SS United States' innards. One reason: wood. The stateroom walls look like wavy wood veneer, while the hallway you can see out the door is paneled wood. You can get a glimpse of the stateroom in the trailer below, 2:10-2:21.



Something has felt off. The SS United States feels like an odd fit. A very specific real world place was placed in this otherworldly series. There are no connections to the real world, except the SS United States and Peru. I can overlook Peru, because that was in the book series. The boat could have been any turn of the century steamship, and no one would have batted an eye. But no, they chose the SS United States. This is a very fine detail, but it won't stop bothering me, so I intend to get to the bottom of its mystery.



FINAL THOUGHTS
The Season: Absolutely Dreadful. 4/4
SS United States: It's CGI... but you see it a lot, relevant to plot, and you briefly go on it. 2.9/4


February 2019 Postscript:

The unfortunate Netflix series has concluded after three unfortunate seasons, so it is time to do a final review.

Should I have looked away? I believe I looked away at the right moment, during the end credits. It was a good adaptation through and through. The series stayed consistently superb.

Television/streaming series seem like the best adaptation medium for books that are dense/long/13 novels in length. It's a medium that can please old and new fans alike, and give every nitty, gritty detail. Everything can breathe, so you don't have to hit points every minute like you're decimating a checklist where everything on it has to be done in 2-3 hours. Simile, check!

Again, I have not reread the books, but I was surprised by what I could remember (They're actually triplets? Nailed it.). There was also a lot I had forgotten, so as the story progressed, it was harder to tell what had been added or changed. The changes I noticed (like adding VFD in earlier) seemed to enhance the story, rather than detract from what the original books were.

They slightly changed the ending of the series for Netflix. In the final book, the Baudelaires set sail away from the island into the unknown, and the fate of everyone is left up in the air. The contents of the infamous sugar bowl were never revealed. In the previous book, the plot that had been building up over multiple novels sharply about-faced and disposed of multiple storylines in one fell swoop of a fire.

It was frustrating to go that far in a series and not have answers, or a satisfying ending. I suppose that was the point: You don't always find out. You don't always get closure. You don't always find the ending of each story you come across. Life is nonsensical, and not always in a Dr. Seuss way. ASOUE was a series that was created to overturn the typical children's story, and its book ending did as well. I can appreciate that, but as a reader it was a hard pill to swallow.

For the Netflix series, the ending mostly stayed the same, but there were caveats. As Lemony's narration concludes, you get a montage of minor characters receiving happy endings and reunions for their stories. The Baudelaire's story is still left to mystery, but with Beatrice Snicket meeting Lemony and recounting the orphans' stories, it suggests they all did survive and at least made it to the mainland. And the contents of the sugar bowl were finally revealed.

There wasn't a thrilling conclusion, and it still ended with many open-endings. But just enough was answered to call the story concluded. Was this a concession to fans and for better ratings? I don't know, but I don't care. I am at peace with it.

Ending aside, from the actors to the makeup, costumes, sets, and more, it was a great series and should be commended for it.



As for the SS United States, it only appeared in episodes 3 & 4 of Season 1. After that season, the opening credits were changed, so the SS United States no longer appeared.

I did try to find an answer to why the SS United States was in the series. Multiple paths led to dead ends. My favorite attempt involved writing a letter to Lemony Snicket. I purchased a postcard with a picture of the SS United States on it, then charred and burned it to look like it had been through a fire.

Before & After charred SS United States
postcard 

Back of charred postcard

Note was as follows:

Dear Mr. Snicket,
   As a famed researcher + storyteller, I am humbled to be writing to you. I hope this letter reaches you in one piece. My enemies know no bounds to prevent me from learning the truth.
   I suffered through the newest adaption of your work "A Series of Unfortunate Events" on Netflix. I apologize I did not listen to your numerous warnings to look away.
   I have a very fine detail I would like to question you about that is crucial to my own personal investigations. In Episode 4 in the recent adaptations, the SS Prospero is portrayed by a CGI SS United States. The Netflix series avoids any specific tie-ins, except for Peru (but what is one more rope to an already tied-up country?) + the SS United States.
   My question, why was the SS United States chosen to appear as the Prospero?
   With all due respect,
   -A.J. Jelonek

The letter was sent, but no reply was received. I can only assume with the reignited interest in the Baudelaires' story, Snicket is on the lamb from his enemies.



FINAL THOUGHTS
My final thoughts remain unchanged.



Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Visit: National Museum of African American History and Culture

The new Smithsonian National Museum of African American  History and Culture

I had the exciting opportunity to visit the new Smithsonian National Museum of African American History and Culture a week ago with my department. A Washington, D.C. museum on African Americans was first proposed in 1915, authorized by congress in 2003, and was finally opened this year. It's been a long road.

Our ticket entry time was at 2pm. By closing time, I had only seen 2/3 of the History Galleries, and fleeting snippets of the Culture galleries. I missed approximately 3 floors of galleries. I also missed the gift shop, one of my must-do's at any museum I visit. It didn't matter. I loved it.

The Grand Staircase
(taken after the museum closed for the day)

This particular museum has the problem other museums would kill to have: the museum is at capacity every day, with visitors viewing the exhibits for hours and hours.

Why?

(SPOILER WARNING: The history itself is available elsewhere, but if you want to wait and be surprised on the museum experience, don't read any further.)

Monday, August 22, 2016

SS United States Silver Screen Review: Dead Man Down (2013)

"Even the most damaged heart can be mended"
                              - Quote from Dead Man Down

Dead Man Down. It's an action drama movie with gangsters, snipers, romance, death, Albanians, and the SS United States! What more could you want during an afternoon escaping the heat and humidity?

Colin Farrell stars as mostly-mute Victor, who is employed in NYC as a gangster and seeks revenge in his spare time. Along the way, he catches the stare of his disfigured neighbor Beatrice (Noomi Rapace). Love, death, and retribution ensue. Terrence Howard and Dominic Cooper also star.


I am so on the fence with this movie. I do enjoy the action and the revenge-seeking, but when it tries for romance, I don't think it knew what to do. I thought there was a little too much focus on the relationship, and not enough fighting taking place. My advice: why not tie the two plots more together?

Speaking of the romance, it was a lot more awkward than it needed to be. I get it, okay? They're both really, really rusty.

A lot of the focus for Beatrice and her story is on her scars from a car accident. It seems to really bother her, but honestly... it's really not that bad. She says she had to have facial reconstruction surgery after the accident, but her face looks amazing except for the lines on her face (which stand out less depending on the kind of lighting). The before-accident photos of her could have been taken after the accident. It could be argued that her perception of her disfigurement is in more in her head, but that doesn't explain the neighborhood kids. They call her "Monster," taunt her, and assault her every time they see her leaves the building (Who raised these kids??). It's a little excessive for a couple faded lines. It's a case of the makeup team failing meet the script's requirements. Also Hollywood afraid that the female lead cannot be too unattractive. It's a shame, and it brings the movie's realism down.

This movie wasn't all bad. The fighting and shooting, while few and far between, were fun to watch. The final one rocked. You have my girl hostage? Okay, I'll drive my truck right through your mansion's front door and crash through to the basement. It's ridiculously amazing.



That ship though? She's the star we're all here for.


Hollywood let all the ship's blemishes show, but that's what helped her get cast in the role of abandoned luxury liner/secret hostage holding location. Victor heads to an abandoned part of the city, driving past abandoned, overgrown piers. Moored to one of these piers is the SS United States (placed there via the magic of CGI). You see an aerial shot and a stern shot while he is driving and walking towards it.

Then, Victor gets on the ship. You see him walking around the ship, first going down the promenade deck, then going down the first class staircase, eventually wandering through the ballroom.

There are some chandeliers and bar props placed in the ballroom. I guess they were added to give some sense as to what that room was, or what kind of ship this was. With the whole ship gutted, it is hard to get a sense of any of the ship's grandeur (other than size). It's probably also there to give people (not obsessed with ocean liners) something to look at instead of bare yellow walls.

Victor then ends his journey through the ship in a hallway to unlock a door. In the next shot, he is in a pool, but it is a movie set. The SS United States' actual pool, deep in the bowels of the ship, is perpetually in darkness. With no power available and no available light like the other locations filmed, the pool understandably was unusable as a movie location.

The whole SS United States screen time is approximately 25 seconds, but it covers multiple locations. If you include the movie pool location as part of the "ship," the time on board totals around 5 minutes.

This is the first time feature film-goers have been given a peek inside the ship after her layup in 1969. The ship's current state helps give the scene an eerie, decaying atmosphere. I have seen videos and pictures of the ship, so I wasn't surprised in her condition, but it's still a little sad. I am glad a film studio found value in the ship, even in its current state. It just goes to show, even at the worst she has ever been, she is still usable and still has the potential for greatness.



FINAL THOUGHTS
The Movie: Needed more action, and everything else was problematic. 2/4
SS United States: Used exterior and interior as a filming location relevant to the plot. 4/4



Wednesday, August 3, 2016

DIG! Kids, Dirt & Discovery 2016

DIG! Kids, Dirt and Discovery's dig site

Two weeks back, I volunteered for one of my favorite Colonial Williamsburg programs - "DIG!: Kids, Dirt and Discovery."

When I worked at Colonial Williamsburg, the DIG! site was my favorite site to oversee (you can read some my enthusiasm from last summer at the end of Part 5 of the 35/15 Photo Project). Luckily, they liked having me, so they invited me back this summer as a volunteer!

From the first summer, a lot of progress has been made. For little legs, there are now stairs for entering the site.

Dig site early summer 2015

Dig site late summer 2015

Dig site July 2016

Let's walk through a day at the DIG!. Each day is broken up into four 50 minute sessions. Each session consists of a brief introduction, digging, sifting, and categorizing.

Digging
This is pretty self-explanatory. Each archaeologist-in-training is given a pair of gloves, a trowel, and a bucket. Using their trowel, they scrape away the dirt. Everything they find, from dirt to artifacts, goes into their bucket.

Due to site excavations in the 1940's with less-detailed archaeological practices than today's, there are plenty of real artifacts in the soil, with none of the normally-found dirt layers. This site is the perfect place for kids to get a first taste for archaeology.

There are three groups, each one is led by one of CW's archaeologists. Each has their own section of where to dig.

Kids getting last minute instructions before
they get digging!

Dig time!

Looking down the stairs at the dig

One one side of the excavation, you can start to see some of
the higher brick features of the Archibald Blair storehouse
peeking through the soil. The bottom of the foundations
are 7 feet below the ground level!

Sifting
Once the digging portion has ended, the dirt collected in the buckets is dumped onto a screen over a wheelbarrow. Even if you think you found everything you dug up, there could be something you missed hidden in the dirt. The dirt gets pushed through the holes, while the artifacts stay behind. All the artifacts found get bagged for future analysis.

Sifting!

Pushing dirt through the screen


All the excess dirt from each session is wheeled away to a pile in a corner. Every month or so, a truck comes by to take the dirt away so it doesn't take over the property.

Mount Sifted Dirt. Not a catchy name.

Categorizing
After everything is screened and bagged, the leaders bring the archaeologists-in-training back to a shaded picnic table to go through what was found. They help guide the kids to discover and identify for themselves the different kinds of artifacts that are present.

Sorting artifacts by types

These kids are using wands with magnets in
them to see if any rusty-looking globs have
metals inside.

DUG!
After the last DIG! session, the site closes down for a quick clean-up, then reopens as a free-flow site for DUG!. As the name suggests, this program centers around things archaeologists do after they dig everything up, so there is no digging during this time. The program is different every day. Sometimes, it's cleaning artifacts, or putting together broken pottery examples. Sometimes, it's a Q&A with an archaeological expert or a special guest (The Father of American Archaeology, Thomas Jefferson, has visited from time to time).  The day I was there, it was cleaning artifacts. Artifacts can be delicate, so wet toothbrushes are used to wash off the dirt. For smaller nooks and crannies, we used a long toothpick-like stick.

Cleaned artifacts!

More treasures found

It's always fun to answer people who ask, "What did you find today?" "Oh, you know," I say, "Lots of broken glass, rusted nails, bones..." And they seem perfectly fine with children handling these normally-abhorred objects because they are artifacts. Ah, well. The present's trash is the future's treasure.

Other objects usually found at the site are pieces of tobacco pipes, oyster shells, broken ceramics and porcelain, buttons, bricks, mortar, and, of course, plenty of dirt.

The Prentis Store next door was a car repair shop before it was restored, so there have been a few automobile items found. It can be an interesting mix. There have been other oddities, but you will have to come by the site yourself to learn about them!

It's like a puzzle with lots of scattered and missing pieces.

After the dig, check out the DIG! artifact display case in the Visitor Center. It has had at least three changes since being established.

Visitor Center Artifact Display
Fall 2015

Visitor Center Artifact Display 
Winter 2015/2016

The latest update has been "Curated By KIDS!"

Visitor Center Artifact Display
Summer 2016



I think this is a great program that allows the future another opportunity to learn from the past.

It's a fascinating site. Most of what you see around Williamsburg is a final product of hours and hours of behind-the-scene work. Here, you get a peek at how it's done. I'm so glad DIG! came back for a second summer. Hopefully, it will continue after the Archibald Blair site has been excavated.



For DIG!, a free ticket reservation can be made the day of at any ticketing location with a valid admissions pass. Ages 5-16 are welcome. Capacity is limited to 20 kids/session, so the earlier you get your ticket, the better. The 9:30am session requires no ticket, it is first-come, first-serve. I recommend coming earlier in the day, as the sun heats things up, shadows disappear, and the soil become harder to dig into.

For DUG!, the site is free-flow 3-4:30pm, no ticket is required.

The official blog for DIG! can be found HERE.

(Want to still dig without getting dirty? Do a virtual dig in the non-CW online game Excavate!)


--  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  


A little background on me and Archaeology. I love archaeology. It's still on my list of things I want to do when I grow up. I was a master sandbox digger starting at a toddler age. I proudly boasted I would find the Lost Colony of Roanoke Island (that's still on my to-do list). I was fascinated by Pompeii. Around the turn of the millennium, I did a CW kids dig at Carter's Grove. Apparently I also toured the house, but I can only recall the dig. That dig's artifacts were all planted, and the dirt had layers, so it was a bit different than DIG!.

Me digging at Carter's Grove
June 26, 2000

After that, I don't think I had any other archaeological experience before last summer. It has been great to reconnect to (or should I say, dig up?) a lost part of me.

Me sifting for overlooked artifacts
with CW Archaeologist Libby

Thank you to Meredith, Libby, and Victoria for letting me help you DIG!

Monday, August 1, 2016

The Millennium Stage

Millennium Stage, waiting for the magic to begin!

[Full Disclosure: I am a current employee of the Kennedy Center. Any opinions expressed in this piece are my own personal views and do not represent that of the Center, its management, or its staff.]

I haven't written about my new job yet. I have been working in the Community Engagement department of the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts. Along with various festivals and community outreach, we are the curators and vanguards of Millennium Stage.

What is Millennium Stage? It is probably one of the hardest working stages around the world. Millennium Stage was created in 1997 by then-chairman James A. Johnson to offer the world one free performance a day at 6pm EST, 365 days a year, with each day a different artist. Could it be done? 19 years later, and it is still going strong.

All genres of performing arts are offered, from classical music, to avant garde inprov'd art creation. We have had theater, jazz, hip hop, dance, bboy battles, opera, new works, old works, genre-blending, "How dare you try to label me!" genres, and more. We have had performers aging from elementary school students all the way to 90+ year olds; from local DC-area artists, to international. Up-and-coming and already-there all in one space. It's exciting to say the very least.

Millennium Stage has two physical, home-base stages, but we like to think of "Millennium Stage" more as an idea (The home-base stages are also referred to as Millennium Stage, so it can be confusing). Millennium Stage's mission is to make the performing arts available for everyone, so it's our job to reach our audiences in the best way possible. Sometimes, that means moving the performance into different venues, or even outside. We also broadcast on digital stages. Since 1999, our performances have been live-streamed and archived on the Kennedy Center website (and just recently on YouTube). The stages are our vehicle.

It would be very easy to assume our performances are haphazardly chosen, with no rhyme or reason. To the contrary, most of our events are tied to other programming or festivals, a supplemental in a way. We help celebrate many building-wide and city-wide events and festivals. We also have a few annual traditions that we bring back every year: Merry TubaChristmas!, Let Freedom Ring! MLK Jr. Celebation, Page-to-Stage, and Conservatory Projects performances are a few of those. Then there are our own festivals we bring into the mix. Just this summer, we held American Acoustic with Chris Thile and partnered with Youth Speaks to host Brave New Voices 2016.

The list of examples could go on and on. Over 6,700 performances and counting worth of a list. Yet all of these are how we reach out to the community, and invite our audience to respond. It's been an honor to be part of such a hardworking and caring team.


FAQ:

What is your job specifically?
I run the show five days out of the week. It's a mix of a role, between stage manager, artist liaison, producer, and staff contact. I make sure everything is running smoothly. I also help out on the administration side with advancing upcoming shows.

Has the show ever not happened?
On occasion. The only reason we might cancel a show is if the Kennedy Center as a whole shuts down. This past winter, the building closed due to snowstorms.

If the artist doesn't show/can't make it, that's a different story. If we have time, we plug in another artist. This can be done with up to a few hours before showtime. If it's very last minute, and we don't have enough time to get anyone else, the show still happens. In the past, we have had talent shows from staff and our audience. Luckily, this scenario hasn't happened to me yet.

Why are there two home-base stages for Millennium Stage?
The Millennium Stages are on each end of the Center's Grand Foyer. The Foyer also serves as the lobby for the Center's three biggest performance venues. Millennium Stage's seating blocks access to whichever venue it is next to, either the Concert Hall or the Eisenhower Theater. So, depending on if there is a show in the CH or the ET, the Millennium Stage is able to switch sides without disrupting the other show's audience flow. If there are shows in both the CH and ET, then the Millennium Stage performs next to the venue that has the later starting time, then breaks down the seating as fast as possible after the show.



Let the show begin!

Sunday, July 17, 2016

SS United States Silver Screen Review: No Way to Treat a Lady (1968)

"Morris, look at this apartment! I love it! It's so Jewish!"
               - Quote from No Way To Treat a Lady

Tonight's the night we watch No Way to Treat a Lady! So what is this dark comedy about? The NYC police are out to catch a strangler murdering ladies. The uncatchable fiend has a different accent, costume, and persona every murder. You never know who he will be next!

I made the mistake of reading the book that the movie was based on before seeing the movie. As is the case with so many other adaptations, the book is better. The book was written by William Goldman. The story was one of his bestsellers before he wrote The Princess Bride. I felt a lot of the comedy and suspense fell away in the movie adaptation. They also took out a major character and changed the ending to be happier. It was disappointing. It lost some surprises, suspense, and bold character action/choices.

The acting was pretty good. I didn't know any of the actors before I saw this movie. Rod Steiger, Lee Remick, George Segal, all terrific. Eileen Heckart stole the movie as a Jewish mother of Morris, the NYPD Detective in charge of the strangler case. Doris Roberts (who I did know of before watching this movie, but didn't recognize while watching) shows up briefly as a woman with orange hair.



The book didn't mention any boats, so I did not think the ship would impact the movie much. I was correct.

Morris takes his girlfriend onto his "yacht," which turns out to be NY Police Boat No. 1. On their cruise in his "yacht," they pass Luxury Liner Row.

They pass a couple ships. You can see the RMS Queen Mary at Cunard's dock. Moored to the end of the dock is the tugboat Theresa Moran (Still in service, now named Cape Henry). Shortly after, the stern of the SS United States rolls by. Her forward funnel peeks out in the second shot of the couple's first kiss.

How can you hide a ship with funnels like those?
Still from No Way to Treat a Lady (1968) 

And then they sail away, and onto another scene.


FINAL THOUGHTS
The Movie: The book was better. 2.5/4
SS United States: Sailed by, seen in pieces. 2/4


Sources used:
No Way to Treat a Lady IMDB

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

SS United States Silver Screen Review: 2012 (2009)

Guy: "I mean, I don't know, honey. I just feel like there's something pulling us apart." 
Ground: [Opens up between them]
                                                   - Quote/Scene from 2012


So 2012 was supposed to be the year the world ended. It didn't. Back in 2009, when it was still a possibility, Hollywood decided to capitalize in on the craze/fear. Thus 2012 was born.

The Plot? Everything's alright, then it's not. Worldwide disaster ensues.

Why is this happening? Due to planetary alignments and the sun freaking out, the Earth's core destabilizes and the Earth's crust moves around. Volcanoes, floods, rolling cruise ships, collapsing skyscrapers, crumbling monuments, earthquakes, airplanes, cliffs, floods, human nature, this movie has it all to cater to whatever disaster appeals to you.

This was another movie I had no intention of ever watching. It was better than I thought it would be, I'll give it that. The visuals were good, but crazy to the point of absurdity at points. The CGI is holding up pretty well.

The people and acting were alright. Nothing stood out. John Cusack & Woody Harrelson are in this. The deaths got to a point where it was just senseless, but, hey, it's a disaster movie. It wouldn't be much of a world-ending disaster without a mass human extinction. It was pretty suspenseful/stressful.



So how did the SS United States fare?

The ship cameo comes up pretty early in the movie. The movie starts off in India in 2009. A boy is playing with a toy SS United States in a puddle. A car drives past and hits the puddle. The wave created capsizes the boat. Is this foreshadowing for what is to come later on????????? Probably.

There is a cruise ship in this movie, the Genesis of the fictitious Azure Cruise Lines. The boat is based off of Freedom-class cruise ships. It does not fare well and capsizes, a-la Poseidon Adventure-style. It is assumed it does not recover, but a deleted scene taken out of the final cut depicts the boat and its passengers safe.

Do I think the SS United States could survive, even if it was fully functional? I know there are some who would say so, but I don't think so. The waves depicted in 2012 are super strong and huge. They show the aircraft carrier USS John F. Kennedy at the mercy of the waves, pancaking the White House. That ship was built in the 1960's at Newport News Shipbuilding, where the SS United States was constructed. Two huge ships in this movie, Genesis and JFK, are pushed around like playthings. These craft were built for regular seafaring weather, not the freak waves in this movie. The Big U wouldn't have done any better than its toy model.

What do you think? Could the SS United States could take on 2012?



FINAL THOUGHTS
The Movie: Disaster movie. Great visuals. 3/4
SS United States: It's a model of the ship. Used for heavy-handed foreshadowing. 1/4


Sources used:
USS John F. Kennedy (CV-67) Wikipedia Page
2012 IMDB