Tuesday, June 28, 2016

SS United States Silver Screen Review: 2012 (2009)

Guy: "I mean, I don't know, honey. I just feel like there's something pulling us apart." 
Ground: [Opens up between them]
                                                   - Quote/Scene from 2012

So 2012 was supposed to be the year the world ended. It didn't. Back in 2009, when it was still a possibility, Hollywood decided to capitalize in on the craze/fear. Thus 2012 was born.

The Plot? Everything's alright, then it's not. Worldwide disaster ensues.

Why is this happening? Due to planetary alignments and the sun freaking out, the Earth's core destabilizes and the Earth's crust moves around. Volcanoes, floods, rolling cruise ships, collapsing skyscrapers, crumbling monuments, earthquakes, airplanes, cliffs, floods, human nature, this movie has it all to cater to whatever disaster appeals to you.

This was another movie I had no intention of ever watching. It was better than I thought it would be, I'll give it that. The visuals were good, but crazy to the point of absurdity at points. The CGI is holding up pretty well.

The people and acting were alright. Nothing stood out. John Cusack & Woody Harrelson are in this. The deaths got to a point where it was just senseless, but, hey, it's a disaster movie. It wouldn't be much of a world-ending disaster without a mass human extinction. It was pretty suspenseful/stressful.

So how did the SS United States fare?

The ship cameo comes up pretty early in the movie. The movie starts off in India in 2009. A boy is playing with a toy SS United States in a puddle. A car drives past and hits the puddle. The wave created capsizes the boat. Foreshadowing for what is to come later on????????? Probably.

There is a cruise ship in this movie, the Genesis of the fictitious Azure Cruise Lines. The boat is or is based off of Freedom-class cruise ships. It does not fare well and capsizes, Poseidon Adventure-style. It is assumed it does not recover, but a deleted scene taken out of the final cut depicts the boat and its passengers safe.

Do I think the SS United States could survive, even if it was fully functional? I know there are some who would say so, but I don't think so. The waves depicted in 2012 are super strong and huge. They show the aircraft carrier USS John F. Kennedy at the mercy of the waves, pancaking the White House. That ship was built in the 1960's at Newport News Shipbuilding, where the SS United States was constructed. Two huge ships in this movie, Genesis and JFK, are pushed around like playthings. These craft were built for regular weather, not these freak waves. The Big U wouldn't have done any better than its toy model.

What do you think? Could the SS United States could take on 2012?

The Movie: Disaster movie. Great visuals. 3/4
SS United States: It's a model of the ship. Used for heavy-handed foreshadowing. 1/4

Sources used:
USS John F. Kennedy (CV-67) Wikipedia Page
2012 IMDB

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